Friday, February 22, 2008

What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.”

Its 2am and am wide awake thinking about a lot of things. Poker,family,love life, and God.

poker- Am alert,focus, and playing extremely well. therefore, i making really good money the past 3 weeks. and the scary thing is am getting better. My future in this game looks very promising. i have no doubt in my mind a yr from today ill be able to purchase my first home here in L.A. hopefully by the beach.

family- my sister mari is dating which scares me, i just don't want her to get her heart broken or used in any way. other then that everyone seems like there doing fine. i plan on going down to Bakersfield next week to visit my mother. I love her so much!!!

Love life- Am never completely happy whoever am with. the last girl or should i say the only girl that i ever truly loved. I knew i wasn't going to end up being with her forever. Because i felt i deserved better even tho i loved her. Since then nothing much has changed. when ever I start dating a girl it always starts well but either by her insecurity's,irresponsibilities, clinginess, or lack of sense of humor i get turn off and decided to end it and just be friends.

after seeing my parents go through a divorce and seeing my sister separate from her soon to be ex-husband i start to wander if you could ever truly be happy being with one person. I know one of these day's i want to have a family but am not sure if i ever want to get married..

God- i remember when i was taking a class of anthropology in college and they were talking about evolution of man kind. After taking that course i started doubting if God even existed. My mother became aware of this and when i traveled to Mexico with my mother she told my grandparents who are very religious that am losing faith. They gave me a long speech about having faith and that i should never doubt God. I just played along and acted like everything was okay again. but in truth i still had those doubts. One day when i was sleeping on my uncles bed i woke up all of sudden.. normally i take a while to wake up stretching and blinking my eyes and then closing then up again before forcing myself to wake up, but this time i just wake up very quickly and turn around to the opposite direction and see the image of God. he had his long beautiful hair that went down to his shoulders and a white gound. i couldn't see his face. its was like a shadow and i couldn't see any images. i was under my covers and (i have the goose bumps just talking about this right now)the only thing i wanted to do was touch him. i was getting close, but then for some reason i turn my face to the direction to the door and run out..

i go straight to my brother's room and wake him up and tell him what i just saw. first he didn't believe me. but then he realized that i was telling him the truth moreover wanted to know everything in detail of what i just saw.

the following day i told everyone and from that day forward i never doubted the man above.

I know some people who i tell this story to might not believe me or think that i was probably in a crazy dream or something. I just hope they don't doubt are father are lord, but more importantly are savor Jesus Christ.


In that note i just want to thank the man above for everything he has giving me. Am greatful for a lot of things that i have and couldn't be more then happy of were my life is at and going to be in the near future.

AMEN!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

thank you very much for posting this. i believe in god of course, but sometimes things happen to me in my life and i lose a little bit of faith, or i question his existence. i know he is real, i know he is above us watching, and i know he is up there blessing me and all of us. sometimes i just need a little assurance of it i guess. but thank you for posting your story! it gave me goosebumps. god bless <3